The trials and triumphs of the googley-eye vagrant.

I’ve found it, I've found my hook! Until now I have taken a rather “alternative hippie school” approach to blogging. I wanted to take my readers on an organic journey of discovery as we decide together what this all might be about. I’ve been told this is confusing and occasionally physically alarming for my readers. So for your own mental comfort here it is.

You: WHAT IS IT?! TELL ME ALREADY, I'M STARTING TO FEEL PUNCHY!!

Me: I'm getting there.

It is definitely not a “how to” guide. In fact, the only thing I really know “how to” do with any level of success is make my eyes go really goggely without moving any of the other muscles in my face. I’m not willing to share my secrets about that so you guys are on your own with the Google-eyed-ness. (Below you will find a very poor picture of my "Goggley-eye in action". It's powerful stuff).

I can also lacksadaise fairly well. I’m less good at lacksadaising than the google-eye. It involves mooching around, without a proper job. It’s pretty fun, but it doesn’t seem to pay very well and sometimes it makes me wish I were better at useful things.

My third and final skill is to successfully advise people on any level of problem or subject in the world.

For example:

Fred: Lacksadaisy, explain the twin paradox. (It’s a rather complicated Physics conundrum) From Fred.

Me: Fred, exactly!? Some twins look exactly the same, but some are not identical at all…weird. Children are starving Fred, shuttup.

More often than not my response involves “people are starving” *. It works pretty well for almost any topic.

(* This is very possibly ripped off hyperboleandahalf.blogspot. I can’t be sure since I couldn’t find it when I quickly checked, but like the time that I thought I’d composed “I can’t help but lovin’ nobody but you” I actually didn’t. The Turtles composed that song. Anyway visit Allie’s work at www.hyperboleandahalf.com, and then check out the Turtles on iTunes.)

You: ENOUGH! YOU HAVE FAILED TO TELL ME WHAT IT'S ABOUT, GET TO THE POINT!

Me: Well it’s many things, but I’ve decided out of my three major skills the one I’m best at is google eye, but since I'm keeping mum on that issue

I have decided to write about my life and struggles as an unemployed vagrant…or at least someone who is miss-employed or under-employed. There you go.

Please allow my loss of self respect, cunning approach to foodlessness and my apathy towards employment educate you and more importantly inspire you to stay in your reasonably well paying job. Learn from me, learn with me, but definitely don’t learn at me or I will make my eyes go all googley-gog, evidence below.